Not even his worse fear.

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Every day is worse than before, yet nothing has changed. Such was the bleak motif that has plagued his life longer than he'll ever admit. He's sitting in his beige cubicle that would be difficult to distinguish from the others for the casual observer. Upon his desk lies his breakfast, a single piece of toast, single square of butter, a boiled egg and a half thermos full of coffee. The toast was blacker in the middle than he would've liked, the toaster seemingly in need of incessant repairs. The butter wasn't melting as fast as he would've hoped, he now realizing that he doesn't know how long that butter has been in the fridge. The eggs yolk was thicker than usual, the yolk was his least favorite part yet it was all he could taste from it. The coffee was bitter, coffee wouldn't even be his penultimate choice if he had to list all the drinks in the world he enjoyed, yet he always found himself sucking down countless glasses of the stuff. For the better part of an hour, he'd been staring at his unremarkable meal while the same thought was running over and over in his already overwhelmed head. "I was a good man. I listened to my parents and paid my taxes. I graduated college and followed my dreams. Why do I hate my life?" Every time he thought the last question he fought back tears in battle that he knew he would loose eventually. The continuing mediocrity and isolation of his life wasn't even his worse fear. He'd long stopped fantasizing about his worse fear for he thought he'd eventually act on those impulses. He'd recently lost comfort in sleep as he regularly found himself dreaming of his worse fear. He's not a foolish man however. He knows that he can only pretend for so long, even if he was only really pretending to himself. He knows his co-workes aren't bad people, but that didn't stop his life from turing into what it'd become. He finally turns his head from his breakfast to his desk drawer nearest to him. Before he reaches for it he thinks about apologizing. He doesn't.

Created: Mar 06, 2015

Tags: essay, free-verse, script

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