A weighty topic

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This is what I think about fat, it's a word we have all used. Our society views attractiveness by our bodies. I heard I was fat at fourteen by my mother. At sixteen I starved myself, I remember wearing bulky clothing so I wouldn't look skinny. Then at eighteen I went around in short shorts because that's what some diva wore in a music video on MTV. All I ever wanted to be was sexy and thin. I grew up in the 90s so my role models were Cindy Crawford, Claudia Schiffer, and Stephanie Seymour. My image of my own body was deformed due to the women I admired. I remember eating one meal a day, then worrying about fat. Clothing stores weren't much help either, 5 was the ideal size. At nineteen I met a guy that I thought was the one. He told me his weight limit for a girl was a buck twenty. Of course he said this was a joke, but I didn't find the joke amusing. What did I do? I starved myself so I wouldn't gain weight. Well six months later I found myself pregnant. At six/seven months pregnant I looked three months pregnant. I gained fifteen to twenty pounds during the pregnancy. Lost the weight right after I gave birth. Even after losing the weight I worried I was fat and unattractive. Movies didn't help my self esteem, I would see these women on the screen and wish I was skinny like them. I found myself repulsed by heavy set people. When I gained weight I heard about it from family members. When I was skinny I heard about it too. Instead of people worrying about their own problems they concentrated on my body. Even now at 38 I'll hear about my weight, but guess what I don't care. I exercise, eat healthy,  and don't care if people think I'm fat. Our society, including myself, have become obsessed over bodyweight. I know health issues are important, but let's be adult about the weight issue. If you're unhappy about your weight you can change. Maybe we poke fun at others weight because we secretly are jealous. I know I was guilty of poking fun at people in the past. 

Created: Apr 23, 2014

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