The key that weighed 1,000 pounds.

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There's one less key on my key ring today,
And it's back in the same hands where I left my heart. 
It's back where it belongs; where it ought to be. 
Out of my sight and far away from me. 

No longer will I unlock doors and find a reminder of the smiles and warm embraces that awaited me on the other side. 
No more will it be used to bolt the doors to keep safe the things I love most;
Keeping my loved one's safe and protected while I am away. 
...and then one day, I am no longer welcome.
I never raised my voice, I never raised my hand. 
The only argument we ever had was me asking why I had to beg to be included in your life. 
Where once I was a man, strong and secure in his life (in his mind),
I soon found myself another victim to the game. 
The rules are as follows:
"Be confident but not cocky. 
Be successful, but not so successful that you don't have time for us.
Be strong, but be sensative. 
Be well educated, but don't be boring. 
Be available when I need you, but have your own life too.
Be a decisive leader, but be a good listener. 
Be interesting, exciting, and a little dangerous; but be stable enough to want a family some day. 
Pay me attention, but not too much, and not too little attention or I will lose interest in you as a human being despite all of the great and happy memories we shared, promises that we made to one another, and all of the times we professed our love to the world.
Break any of these rules, and the conditions of our love will be rendered null and void. "

I was never any good at following the rules. 
You even told me it was something you loved about me. 
I never could beat you at any games, but since when did love become a past-time instead of a commitment?
Since when did we start exchanging game peices for one another to hold onto just to end the game before we reached Finish? For me, a ring. For you, a key. 

And then because you no longer see me with that same glimmer in your eye, you begin to treat me as if I were the one who had wronged you. -Just as an insurance company begins to blame the claimant for the accident. 
My crimes are as follows: I listened to you. When you were busy or in a bad mood, I brought you flowers. When you gave up your Saturdays to be with me, I would make sure that you had a warm dinner to eat at the end of your 12 hour shift. If I heard about something fun going on, I would include you in the things I wanted to do. 
If your friends couldn't make it out with you one night, and you were ready to go out, I would dress to the nines, and make the most of it. I would bring the party. 
One day, I'm the best boyfriend ever...the following week, I'm lucky if I get a one word response via text message within 8 hours. 
I was faithful, I did my best, and I loved you the best way that I knew how.
Never had my heart been touched so deeply, and then pulled out so quickly.
No explaination was given. You just kept putting up your defenses.
You'd go out to bars with your friends more...and it's obvious where that always goes. 

It's hard to believe that a key could weigh so much on you. 
But even though I'm a thousand pounds lighter, somehow I still don't feel as free. 

Created: Apr 20, 2014

Tags: changes, weight, prose, love, loss, keys

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