Dark thoughts

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Last night as I was sleeping in bed comfortable worm and relaxed, dark thoughts come to my mind, of things that happened in a different place and time, dark thoughts filled me with quilt that everything that has happened to this world is my fault. All the pain and all the suffer all the crying and the despair its all my fault, thoughts like this troubled my mind, dark thoughts taken out a dark part of my soul. I turned the other way in my bad thinking that they would go away, and for a minute I was successful, nut only for a minute they came back, more vivid then before more violent then before hungry for pain and blood. Dark thoughts that, came out of a dark hole. Of my soul my pour and troubled soul. I was thinking about my lost loves who foolish I was to let them go, like water how the slipped through my hand. I was thinking about good friends how they run away like clouds from a strong wind, I was thinking about families and how happy they all seem, and I was jealous oh so very jealous. Because my soul became black that night. I was thinking that I don’t deserve happiness, that I am always gone be alone all by my own, with no one to help me care about me love me. I was thinking, that maybe it wasn’t all my fault maybe someone had put a spell on me not to be able to find love, someone cursed to be alone, all alone with one alone such a miserable word, such a miserable situation. Thoughts like this where running like crazy through my mind yesterday night, dark thoughts, out of this world, and I was turning and turning all around in my bed try to easy my troubled soul, trying to put some light into this thoughts, put nothing worked. Is it true am I bad person, do I envy the happiness of others, is it destined for me to alone, no one to share my thoughts, my fillings my soul, are these dark thoughts a sign that I should change try to be someone better someone happier someone else, but would that be also a lie, should people like for what you are, must you wear a mask and pretend to be someone else must you lose your personality and everything that you are for what, for what reason. All these dark thoughts where running through my mind last night, I tried to cats them away but I could not, there where coming straight from my soul my dark and bitter soul.

Created: Apr 18, 2014

Tags: story, theme

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