An obstacle - Maybe she’s avoiding real sea creatures? Maybe the boy is trapped somewhere? Maybe she can’t find him? Maybe her whale starts to fall apart? Put something in the way of her achieving her goal, and tell us how she overcomes it.
-The initial underwater adventure begins calmly enough as the, but as she dives the water gets more murky and dark and the currents are powerful; the outside pressure on the submarine is starting to take its toll on the vessel. Leaks begin to spring and the vessel is taking on water.
-Then all of a sudden, when it’s too late to turn back and it seems like everything is going to fall apart, the water calms. The water pressure ceases as if she has passed through a portal. There is sunshine. The girl can see the sand at the bottom, the pressure from the depths of the water is gone.
A moment of discovery - This could be the reveal of other missing sons and daughters. It could be the discovery of a mechanical world of sea creatures. It could be a revelation concerning the boy. It could be as simple as her finding the world that exists down there - but break it down and tell us how she makes that discovery.
-After going through rough depths, like an airplane going through turbulence, the girl and her whale end up on the “other side” in what is a very serene beach scene with hundreds of children playing on a beach. Flying kites, building sandcastles, etc…
-There are other vessels swimming around in what looks like a sky. There are children swimming, flying kites, building sandcastles. She sees her friend sitting on the pier fishing
Resolution - how does the story end? The question of the BOY must be answered and the story must resolve. Either she finds him or she doesn’t, and if not, then why not?
- She sees the boy sitting on the pier fishing. She lands her boat on the sand and exits. The whale swims up into the sky. The girl goes to sit beside her friend on the pier.
(The end the reveal is that it is a fantasy of the mother of the girl, and that both of the children drowned that day.)
-The boy fell into the water and the girl jumped in after him to save him.
-The mother is so heartbroken that she imagined her girl building the whale submarine to save the boy and discovers a world where other children live. Basically, like an underwater playground, or heaven being underwater, a place where the memory of her daughter can live on.
Created: Apr 15, 2014TsayPA Document Media