Swimming collab > Write a Story Treatment for the collab - Writing

SWIMMING - Story Treatment

By edwardtheninth

PROLOGUE - Use the Prologue as a starting point. You can refer to the Storyboard Animatic if that is helpful. http://www.hitrecord.org/records/1572242


- A GIRL and BOY play by the lake. The BOY slips and falls into the water. The GIRL waits, but her friend never resurfaces. 

- His body is never found. A memorial is held around an empty grave. But the GIRL knows her friend is still out there somewhere…

- She resolves to go and find him. She builds a mechanical whale.

- One night she slips out of her bed, and down to the water. Her mother realises she's missing, but it's too late. The GIRL and her whale plunge into the lake...



MAIN UNDERWATER SECTION - use the visuals in the curated album to inspire the story. http://www.hitrecord.org/albums/348737

Break it down into story beats, scenes, or even a shot list. This will help direct the illustrators and animators as they bring it to life.

What happens underwater is up for grabs. Think about the questions raised in the prologue - What does she find underwater? What has happened to the boy? Can he be saved? How does our story resolve?


The GIRL is searching for the BOY. This is her motivation throughout the piece, and the answer to this question will give us our resolution. 

The story could include:

A moment of discovery - This could be the reveal of other missing sons and daughters. It could be the discovery of a mechanical world of sea creatures. It could be a revelation concerning the boy. It could be as simple as her finding the world that exists down there - but break it down and tell us how she makes that discovery.

An obstacle - Maybe she’s avoiding real sea creatures? Maybe the boy is trapped somewhere? Maybe she can’t find him? Maybe her whale starts to fall apart? Put something in the way of her acheiving her goal, and tell us how she overcomes it.

Resolution - how does the story end? The question of the BOY must be answered and the story must resolve. Either she find him or she doesn’t. And if not, then why not?

If she finds him, do they return safely to the shore? Do they stay underwater with the missing sons and daughters? Was it all a fantasy of a grieving mother?



Start with the prologue, take us on a journey, and resolve the story somehow. The visual contributions to this collaboration are excellent, so let them inform your writing.


SWIMMING - Story Treatment

Created: Apr 14, 2014


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