Blue Notes

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When I first met you, we were both so young.  I was 20...you were 18.


I'd never been in love. I'd only kissed one boy.


I was untouched.


I was so scared to meet you. So afraid of the unknown.


You were scared, too. You were shaking, you were so nervous.


And then after the awkwardness and nervous twitches subsided, we resolved to be friends.


Ten minutes later, we were making out in front of your mom's house.


My keys were heavy in my hand, so I dropped them on the grass in order to hold on to you better.


 


You were all I could think about.


I went to work the next day in a daze.


I typed but didn't see what was on the screen.


I just knew that you were someone special.


 


Our second date, we went to the Seal Beach pier and watched the sunset.


You didn't wear a jacket, so you held on to me for warmth.


I told you a dirty joke I'd heard in "Good Will Hunting."


You responded with a rather lecherous comment.


We both laughed.


 


Once we got back to your house, we watched TV until your parents went to bed.


We snuck upstairs to your room.


I gave you almost everything I had and you handled it with extreme care.


 


I left your house at 2am, my head in the clouds and my body numb to my fingertips.


You gave me the sweetest kiss before I drove away.


10cc was on the radio, playing the middle of "I'm Not In Love."


In my rearview mirror, you stood in the middle of the street with your arms held over your head in victory.


 


A month later, you told me you didn't want to be with me anymore.


You couldn't explain it.


The feelings were gone.


My heart was broken into a million pieces.


 


For months, I drove to the Seal Beach pier, gazing out into the water.


I wondered if I'd see you.


One afternoon, I did.


You were with your parents and another girl.


 


16 years later, the pier is just another pier.


But I still think of you at every pier I see.


I still think of what was the sweetest and briefest love I ever experienced.


The ocean always carries your memory in it and with it,


I feel only a mild, bittersweet nostalgia and a mixture of


gratitude, for what you gave me....and hoping you remember the same way.

Created: Apr 11, 2014

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