They said you could help. No, no, not the three-eyed being behind you. Or the large feral wolf sitting next to you. Yes, you! Oh of course I can see you, what is this? 2287? Wait, that year hasn’t passed yet? Oh. . .um, how awkward. Let’s try this again. . .What is this? 2134? Hasn’t passed yet either. . . Okay, okay. Obviously I’ve landed myself in a very early time.
Let’s try something basic. . . My name is Ellis. Okay, did you get that? Did your unevolved minds understand my words? If they did, good. If they didn’t then you’re about as useful as a sack of rocks to me. Actually, now that I think about it . . . a sack of rocks would be more useful than you. Never mind that analogy, I’ll assume you presevered through the challenge of simple reading.
Moving on. I hope your brain has the capacity to hold all this useful information I’m giving you. I’m from the future. No, no, we don’t have flying cars, the gasoline ran out before we could make one. And people don’t have polar bears for pets; the ice caps melted and they were hunted for meat. Clean air? Okay, now you’re embarrassing yourself. Do you really think it’s going to get better for everyone else if you don’t do anything? Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Anyways there’s something more important than that!
But now I can’t think of it. Great you got me thinking of how awful the planet will be in a few years. . .Now I remember! Listen up, since your “modern science” has proven that you probably won’t live to be one hundred, you probably don’t care how the planet will be in a couple thousand years. So all I’m gonna say before I mess up the universe or become my own grandpa or something is. . . DON’T RUIN IT FOR EVERYBODY!! Yes, you will ruin it. Not the animated cartoon octopus who’s been breathing on your neck or the poltergeist who has pent up anger against the Miocene Era. You! Okay, at the moment you might not be doing anything wrong, but you aren’t doing anything right! Think of your great-great-great-great-great-great-great(I could go on but I’m trying to save time)-grandchildren. Wouldn’t you want them to live in a nice place, and have clean air to breathe and polar bears to stare at? That’s what I thought. So get off of that cosmic beanbag and go help the planet!
Oh and by the way, Lord Geoluhread says hello. You’ll meet him soon enough.
Created: Apr 11, 2014AKA Kay Document Media