My First True Love (Your Brown Eyes Are Full of Regret)

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No one cares about me,
but that’s okay,
because I’m strong enough to walk myself home.
I’m strong enough to get myself off the ground.
I know my way to a safe place, alone.

It will always be me
deciding how much alcohol I put in my glass.
It will always be me choosing what I want to do with my body.
Do not abuse me.

For if you abuse me,
you will be forever sad,
forever lonely,
forever empty.

It is your fault that you did not grab ahold of me.
You did not tell me you needed me like you needed to.
So I floated away,
drifting into a state
of “should I tell you or should I not”.
I never could express
my true feelings toward your hard, judgmental body.

But oh how I wanted to.

I wanted to be yours,
forever and always,
just like the cheesy fairytales.

I have imagined you and me
knowing nothing else
but the lull of our hearts
and the fabric of our souls entwined
for only a few life times.

We could have lived forever
if you wanted to.

But you didn’t want to.

-Brittany North

Created: Apr 07, 2014

Tags: read me, spilled thoughts, spilled ink, poems, poetry

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