Befores and Ripples

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We divide ourselves in a series of befores. Before I learned how to this, before I knew what this was like, before I felt that, before I realized those.  Whether we realize what we're doing or not, we compartmentalize ourselves into these stages.

Now that I know about this, I can look back on who I was before I did. I have learned, survived, struggled, created, grown.  I am not the same as I was before. 

Because, whatever those divides are, we have filtered them through our souls, distilling them into experience and using them to shape who we are, whether by absorbing them or rejecting them. We can choose to ennumerate our own rise to the consciousness we have achieved from all of our befores or disregard them as so much time flowing into the past to remain in our wake, clinging tenuously to our forward motion. Whether it drags us backwards or not is all a matter of perspective.

The universe moves in ripples. Sine waves, cosine waves, light, matter, energy, water, impact sends it cascading backwards against itself, forward away from itself, and curling all the way back onto itself when it finds other ripples it can't overcome. Every before makes a new ripple and those ripples will come back to us, the good, cleansing ones as well as the ones we wished we'd never made.

We are the sum of our befores, but we can use them to become greater than those complex geometries. Every ripple doesn't have to leave a permanent mark. Some of them are meant to be erased. They're meant to become one of the small, pale befores that we can leave behind, nearly forgotten.

Created: Apr 01, 2014

Tags: prose, non-fiction

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