The Last Clap Part 1 (comedy sketch)

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Two awkward teenage girls, GRETA and VEE, stand in line. A sign near them reads: "Sunday Morning Open Mic."

GRETA: Oh my pagan gods, Vee.

VEE: I know. I know.

GRETA: Oh. My. Pagan. Gods. I can’t believe we’re actually about to see Richard playing guitar.

VEE: And singing. Don’t forget the singing.

GRETA: Oh my. Pagan gods.

They make their way to a disinterested MAN seated behind a table, who is collecting money for entrance into the 'show.'

MAN: Five dollars each.

GRETA: Don’t you want to see our IDs?

MAN: This is an open mic. At a coffee shop. You don’t need IDs. Just five dollars each.

VEE: But we paid 100 bucks for them.

Vee sticks her ID in his face. He looks at her and then takes the ID and reads it out loud.

MAN: Miriam Goldwater. Born 1967. That would make you...?

VEE: Like thirty-seven years old.

The man looks at her in surprise.

VEE: I’ve aged well.

MAN: More “like” (he quotes with fingers as he says this) forty-seven years old.

GRETA: Damn it, Vee!

VEE: Greta!

They both cover their mouths as they realize they have just given away their real names. The man hands Vee back her ID.

MAN: Go take a seat, ladies. The show will start in a few minutes.

GRETA: Don’t you want our money?

MAN: Just go sit!


(I broke the original record up into 2 parts.. it was just a tad too long for one record, methinks. See Part 2 below if you want to read more -- they get even more ridiculous..)   ;  )

Created: Mar 28, 2014

Tags: teenage, script, comedy, sketch

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