Hello Helen Johnston,
I have fallen gravely ill and according to my trusted doctor my days are limited. I have received wise advice to apologize for my troubles through a series of letters to insure swift course to the other side. This may come of a surprise to you due to the honest and fair life I have lived. This exercise does past time splendidly.
I doubt you remember but 4 years ago your husband had passed away. Though his cause of death was choking on his vomit. I write you today to reveal what occurred on that faithful day. I was returning home after a long night of work when I discovered your husband and my dear friend passed out at the side of road. He was unconscious spread out like a bird, being an inconvenience to all those passing by.
Though I was in a rush to get home I stopped to help your husband. I understand your gratitude. I tried faithfully to wake him up with a couple slaps to the face before deciding to push him over in attempt to roll him to the nearest Church, where the good Lord could take care of him. He was a very heavy man and with all my might he only was pushed to his side. With a heavy heart and growling stomach, I left him on his side and headed home.
Now, if I had told someone about your husband or not given him the chance to choke on his own puke, a quite distasteful way to go, by pushing him to his side your husband might of survived. But with all due respect, he was a blasted drunk. You may wonder why I write to you today and it is to apologize.
I had complimented the floral arrangement at your husband's wake, however the arrangment was clashing and just dreadful. I hope you can forgive me for stretching the truth and do make an appointment with a doctor. I hope you are not going blind for it would explain how in God's name you thought white lilies were tasteful!
Henry Adam Wood
P.S. Forgive me, I seemed to lie again when I said you looked lovely at the funeral.
Created: Mar 12, email@example.com Document Media