A reply from God himself to Saitmaker's letter

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My son,


Based on your description, I believe you have been assigned to the Regular Heaven Package. It is, indeed, less spectacular than our Premium Package but it is still better than the alternative.


I must say I was most intrigued to see you here but, after consulting your file, I could see you’re one of those “saved-at-the-last-minute” souls to whom pardon was granted due to a loop hole in the system. I really must get one of my lawyers to take a look at that one but they live down south, if you catch my drift, and I don’t get to see them very often.


But, as I lay here dictating this letter to my secretary, I find myself touched by your gesture. You see, people don’t really write letters to God anymore, they prefer to write to Santa Claus…


Anyways, I’m considering upgrading you to a penthouse suite in our finest hotel providing that you agree to become my pen pal.


I will be anxiously awaiting your reply.


Sincerely,


The Master of the Universe and Your Lord,


God


P.S. My secretary thought I should clarify that my request was more like an order and that you don’t really have any choice but to accept.

Created: Feb 26, 2014

Tags: satire, letter, god

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