Early collab

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It's too early

We only met three weeks ago

It's too soon to feel this way

this isn't logical

this isn't me

I don't fall

I'm falling..

that's what this is, right?

I wouldn't know.

It was too soon a week ago.

I saw you three Saturdays ago and knew I wanted to know you, so I approached you.

How unlike me

Sitting here,

thinking of you.

How unlike me.

It's too soon.

Too early in the process, that's what I believe what you believe what they all tell me.

No one knows more than me

this isn't me

But then I see your eyes in my mind and my stomach twists tightly like a wet, wrung towel and it's something I can't remember feeling before

Maybe I did, but it's been years.

I'm scared, so again and again I try to stop this

we don't need to go any further. 

It's too early on for me to feel this way

we better stop now before it becomes true insanity

again again again I tell myself I'll stop this

then I see you

or a message from you

and I can't

I won't

I'm scared to go on and scared to stop

I want to feel after locking myself away for so long

but I know what's at the end of this

what's always at the end of this

but no I cannot even say that because I have not felt this, no, not this way

I'm certain it's infatuation. How could it not be?

the more I learn

the more time I spend

the more I want to

is it the same for you?

But stop! No

it's too soon.

I can't stop

what is this?


I have always been able to stop

to cut off emotions

but I refuse

you will hurt me

or I will hurt you

or I will hurt us both

that's how it always ends when my heart gets involved

but I refuse

I want to see

I want to know how far I can go

how close I can let you come

I wonder if you'll get past the blockades I've had up for decades

I wonder if I'll let you

what would that feel like?



certainly it would be

but what else?

I want to know.

so I refuse

I won't lock myself away.

It's early.

It's too soon.

It's pure insanity like I've never felt and I'll let it burn us both to feel alive

to feel something again

in that place I have caused to wither with my steadfast protection

I won't be careless with you

if anything

it is myself I am being careless with

I will let that be. 

I'm afraid. 

It's so early to be afraid.

but I never feel this much...

it is good...

but you understand?

it's fucking terrifying.

Created: Feb 21, 2014

Tags: reason, affection, confusion, chaos, early, free-verse, romance, soon, logic, falling, fear, timed prompt

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