By NaturallyInspired

My birth caused the dissolution of the Soviet Union. I can crack eggs without getting shell in the yolk. I can run one mile per hour short of the speed of light for approximately seven seconds. I expect the Spanish Inquisition. I relax so hard that it aches afterwards. I can drive with two feet. I can ride my bike with no handlebars. I am fluent in sarcasm. I found weapons of mass destruction. I can use “lasciviousness” in a conversation. I can parallel park, sort of. I used to be able to beat your high score in Tony Hawk 3. I can read in sign language. I know what you mean. Billie Jean is not my girl. I stole the cookie from the cookie jar. After the Black Eyed Peas released “Where Is The Love?” I found it for them. My midiclorian count is off the charts. I have been arrested for breaking the laws of physics. I told you so. I don’t want to know how the Joker got those scars. I know why the rum is always gone. I killed Rasputin. I gotta feeling. I shot the sheriff, but I didn’t shoot the deputy. I don’t practice Santeria, and I ain’t got no crystal ball. I don’t feel like P. Diddy when I wake up in the morning, nor do I know how Kei$ha knows knows what P. Diddy feels like when he wakes up. I can make the world impressionistic just by taking my glasses off. Iago didn’t fool me. I have sleight of hand and stopping power pro, so watch your back. I won a staring match against David Blaine. I won a fight against Rocky. I’ve never broken a bone. I don’t have bones, I have titanium I-beams. My other ride isn’t actually the Batmobile, but it’s pretty close. I made you look. I pimped out Xzibit’s ride. Colleges applied to me. I have a license to wound. I can focus for over six seconds. I invented the time machine before I was born. I know what Willis is talking about. I called it. I hate A-Rod. I hang out with Jesus.


Created: Aug 12, 2010


Document Media

Related Records:

The Bug Zapper: A Tiny Story
The Bug Zapper: A Tiny Story By MattConley
I Am
I Am By NaturallyInspired
- By tommacarte
Gravity. By NaturallyInspired
The Broken Hearted Octopus (Tiny Story)
The Broken Hearted Octopus (Tiny Story) By xanlee
Miracle of Plants
Miracle of Plants By noharlembeat
Make Space for Me in Your Coffin
Make Space for Me in Your Coffin By Metaphorest
Do is to Die as Live is to Learn
Do is to Die as Live is to Learn By NaturallyInspired
Heaven's Polish
Heaven's Polish By NaturallyInspired
if By kellibean
The Sorrow Bird - Poem
The Sorrow Bird - Poem By Metaphorest
The End
The End By NaturallyInspired