te amo

By laurenchancellor

At first it was a horrible pain I felt all over that was only satisfied when I cried myself to sleep at night.

Then it only hurt when I was breathing. Lying in bed gasping for breath, wishing I could just die from the pain.
I tried to tell myself I hated you. An impossible feat even if you just shattered my heart into a million pieces. I didn't think I could ever pick up all of them, and I was right.

Later it became bearable. I no longer wanted to kill myself every time I saw you. I no longer needed to tear out my eyes every time I passed your house.

Now I tell myself I'm over you but it is so easy to see I'm not. I send open invitations to you, I try to start conversations, all under the pretext of being friends. I know I sound desperate but I can't help myself.
I can't say this with authority. People older then me would look down upon this statement, but you are one of the loves of my life. I'm only sixteen and I know this.
I may not have seen much of the world, but I've seen enough to know I will never forget you. I may never remember a single friend from high school but you'll stick with me forever.

It's taken me twelve months to realize but I love you. You were my first love, and although I didn't realize it while we were together, you loved me in your own way.

Maybe one day I will breath again without this ache in my heart, but until then: te amo.

te amo

Created: Aug 11, 2010


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