Lets Talk About LOSS > write anything to do with loss - Writing

Cancer you fucking Asshole - I Hate You!

By jestferlaffs

It started three years ago Melanoma they said


No problem, just a couple of small nodes on the lymph under your arm

Wump wump

We will operate here and suture there

Add some chemo and some radiation and you will be good as new.

Wump wump wump - the head and body shots were coming faster and with more ferocity then she could remember.

Cancer? What? Me? What do you mean? Is that someone else’s chart? I’m only 48 and I never smoked.

Wump upper-cut to the jaw, wump wump liver shot and kidney shot. They come faster and faster and her head spins, really, is this happening to me, seriously?

Your world reels, but it is "only melanoma" she think that’s pretty curable and I will start treatments right away

I am strong and healthy (relatively)and I can beat this thing.

She reads up on this illness not really knowing what Melanoma is and she gets scared, really scared, but the Dr's as always feel that they have caught this scourge early enough and they can treat her quickly.

She goes through her treatment and cries a few tears but in the end they get it, they stop the growth, it's that growth that does so much damage, insatiable really.

3 months later - all clear

6 months

1 year

2 years

3 years - hey things are looking good.

One day she starts to see spots in front of her eyes and her speech pattern becomes strained and confused, these bloody headaches. She calls her husband and explains the situation he goes and picks her up from work and brings her home, the symptoms continue - he calls the ambulance.

She goes into emergency he thinks "A Stroke?" that’s pretty weird. They do a brain scan and the Dr. calls my brother in - your wife is very sick she has some tumors on her brain, we are not too confident, we are going to run some more tests, you should make some calls we think she has only months to live.

Wump - Wump Wump!!!!!!!

Are you kidding me, 5 tumors on the brain - he starts making the calls.

A spot on the lung too now and the liver. Now it’s gone to weeks to live,

"What the Fuck, are you kidding me?" she is 51 years old she thinks why couldn’t this be grandma, she's 87, she's lived a good life, she smoked most of her life. Why me? what did I ever do, why me?

She stays in the hospital for three weeks and has visits by friends and family she gets up the strength to get the hell out of that place and make some final arrangements –

One week out of hospital and she feels numbness in her right side. Time to go back and visit her friends at the hospital.

Another brain scan shows some minute shrinking of the original 5 tumors but the two new ones are growing rapidly with a voracious appetite. She will not be coming home from this place and the diagnosis goes to days.

She passed on Thursday night, she was like a sister, no she was a sister to me - she had been my sisters very best friend for 4 decades and my brothers spouse for the last 10 or more years. This bright light was taken too soon and it just aint right

Cancer you fucking Asshole - I Hate You!

Created: Sep 01, 2013

Tags: sad, cancer, pain, free-verse, family, love, tumour, non-fiction, just-aint-right, pattern, angry, hate, death, why, radiation, chemotherapy

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