HitRECord Sketch Comedy > Write a sketch for a live show - Writing

This is a really good book

By CaptClare

A monologue:


 


So there was this book I was reading which was fucking amazing. I could not believe how into it I was. I'm not a big reader, you know, but this book was just blowing my mind. It was a-maze-ing. Amber over at The Sugar Lounge gave it to me after I broke up with Ed for the third time and she said it would change my life. I totally didn't believe her, ha, another fucking self help book right?! but Ed stopped paying the cable after he moved out so I didn't have anything else to fucking do. It wasn't even really a self help book, not in the strictest sense. It was a kinda autobiographical, mystery, adventure, romance, awakening, horror story, you know? Anyway it was a-maze-ing.


Then, like 8 days ago, I was at Friars Coffee House on 4th, you know, the one with the amazing chai? Yeah, anyway I was just chillin', reading this book when I got up to order another chai. Totally left the book on the table, like, didn't even think about it, its a fucking book right?! Whose gonna take someones book - mid read?!


Yeah, someone totally did. They fucking stole my book! I was just livid. I looked all over that god damn coffee house and went off on the staff like some automatic weapon. "Where the fuck is my book?! Did you see who just left?! What kinda place is this - a coffee house for book theives?!" Yeah, they weren't too impressed and asked me to leave and I was like, fine, fucking book thievery racket hangout.


So I'm devastated right? I really wanted to finish that book and then read it again - it is that a-maze-ing. I told Amber, she was really upset too and I couldn't just go to the store where she got it and get another copy either. She had found it at a bus stop so I went all book detective and checked online, called every store, every library - even snuck into the high school library to check there! I know right?! I fucking loved that book but it was no where. It was like I had the last copy on the face of the planet. It was really upsetting. I thought I would never get to finish that amazing book and then, fuck me, you will not believe what happened yesterday - it turned up in my mailbox.


Whoa, right? It was in a padded envelope addressed to me. My address! Street, name, everything. So weird. No, it didn't have a return address, just some scratchy handwriting on the back that said This is a really good book and I was like, I fucking know right?! 


 

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This is a really good book

Created: Apr 06, 2013

Tags: literature, stole, captclare, dialogue, automatic, script, coffee, story, book, reading, steal, theme, good, ed, thief, tale, monlogue

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