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Noise Cancellation: A Monologue

By MattConley

So yeah, like, I dropped a few G's and got these really rad new noise cancellation headphones and I totally wear them everywhere. It's like experiencing life from a whole new perspective, you know - without all the noise. It's just me, my beats, and these fuckin awesome headphones on my dome piece.


I don't have to, you know, listen to people's bullshit on the subway anymore. I just turn the volume up and I don't hear them complaining about their cable bills or their kids. I don't even hear all the screaming or, like, the puking. I just chill.


And, like, my relationship is so much better now. My girlfriend totally gets it. We'll just do our own thing. So I'll sit and listen to my beats and she'll just paint her nails or whatever. We don't even argue anymore. It's totally amazing. And if she does get in a bad mood or something, I can't even hear what she's going on and on about anyway, so it's all good!


Now I'm not a religious kind of dude or anything, but I definitely feel super spiritual lately - like totally all Zenned out. Like I was at this bodega and some wack job's robbing it and what not and I'm like "I don't know what you're saying, man - but here, dude. Take my wallet. I'm just gonna take these Cheetos and bounce."


It was so liberating. It was like he was on his level, you know - like down here - and I was on this spiritual one all high up and stuff where it was just me and my tunes - and I think he understood. He must've been like "There goes a guy who just wants to rock out to some dope audio. I can respect that."


Now I know that I kinda have some things to figure out - like I need a job and some extra batteries for these headphones. That's just water under the bridge though cause everything's really vibing for me. Like I'll wake up in the afternoon, stroll outside and look around, and be like "Fuck yeah, bro. Today's gonna be a good day."

Noise Cancellation: A Monologue

Created: Mar 26, 2013

Tags: hearing, carefree, dating, reading, joke, wire, work, humorous, slang, vox, relationship, life, actor, script, noises, vo, satire, funny, loud, robbery, character, situation, train, music, acting, city, heard, stereotype, comedy, head, technology, performance, dark comedy, male, store, gf, couple, people, person, satirical

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