I spend my time spinning out the threads of fates that never were and dwelling on my regrets, everything I should have done but didn’t. Fear, self-consciousness, a fatal lack of self-confidence… sometimes some pride and apathy are exactly what I need: an “I don’t care, but I can do it if I want to” attitude would carry me through my opportunities just fine, but instead I sift through my troubles nostalgically, as if looking at old portraits of people I’ll never see again, gone to a mistake made that cuts them off from me: who we could have been, what we could have done. Live and learn? I’m not satisfied. If there’s no benefit to learning, I should have known the first time.
Created: Jul 25, 2010Document Media