Being nude is a sort of reminder towards my self confidence. Before I go into the shower, I always stare at my reflection with my clothing removed. If feelings of repulsion overwhelm me, it tells me that my confidence level has remained in the same area for the past three years.
I hate the way I look more than 90% of the time I look at myself in the mirror when I am stark naked. The distance between my thighs are only getting closer. My breasts fall to the side of my wide chest without the support of a push-up bra, since I absolutely abhorred them during the time I hit puberty. My waist measures close to the size of my bust, along with a nice set of love handles to accompany them.
Then I ask myself why I barely have any confidence. Is my body truly the main reason as to why I am lacking the confidence I need? The answer is no. I only use my body as an excuse, a scapegoat. The true areas where I lack confidence aren't because of my naked figure, but rather, my personality. My nudity only serves as an indicator of how I feel about myself. I constantly fear that I am not good enough, that I am annoying or weird, and that I am unusually quiet and reserved or oddly obnoxious and loud at the wrong times.
Confidence is the key to beauty. If you do not have any, people will notice it (unless you are a very good actor/actress, that is). I associate myself with many people who have bodies slightly larger than my own, but their confidence is what shines through. I hope that I can look into the mirror and not have those feelings of repulsion, but rather, feelings of satisfaction. When that particular day comes, I know I will be perfectly content with myself, inside and out.
Created: Jul 22, 2010Document Media