This is my review of Inception-
First of all, I was astounded at the ticket prices these days. I remember paying a nickel to see a good Shirley Temple flick back in my youth. WTF? I think 3D really stands for how many digits they put before the decimal point on the ticket price.
Secondly, the cost of popcorn is ridiculous. However, they were kind enough to offer six easy installments if I upgraded to the jumbo commemorative Inception bucket.
Thirdly, the drink sizes are way too big... I mean these suckers won't fit in overhead baggage -and- if you're like me and finish it before the previews are finished, then you'll need to take a break to the WC in the middle - due to the new 2 1/2 hour film standards of the major studios. Of course, you return only to have your friend explain that you missed the most awesome scene of the movie.
Fourthly, the new 56 screen cineplex doesn't have the proper signage like a normal interstate freeway does. I suggested they designate separate street addresses for each screen so I could use GPS "turn left in fifty meters" I think they wipe their assess with all those boxed suggestions.
Fifthly, they need to check the IDs of the infants. Nothing worse than a screaming baby during a NC-17 If these people can't fork out enough dough for a babysitter or a fake ID for their kid - then they should stay at home and watch re-runs of Roseanne.
Sixthly, the ambient lighting from the Twitter chicks blackberries and iPhones irk me to no end. C'mon folks, you're at a friggin' movie... save your texting for highway driving.
Seventhly, groups of teenagers need their own theaters. Giggling, laughing and yawning during a good film upsets me... if you're not listed on the end credits of the film then please don't add your sound effects. You're non-union anyhow.
Seven 1/2ly, taking a picture of a friend at the movie theater with your cell phone is not cool. Call me crazy, but unless you have a terminal illness or you're visiting from a country without movie theaters - there no excuse for this type of behavior.
Eighthly, DO NOT PLAY THE CRANE GAME - The crane games in the theater arcades are identical to the ones at the county fair midway. You're not gonna get your date a Spongebob stuffed toy. Bubble burster... I know, sorry. The crane games toy-to-weight ratio defies physics and the superglue they use puts the odds in favor of the house.
Ninethy, If your date starts busting moves on the DDR arcade machine. You need to stop trolling on MySpace or Craigslist for companionship.
Tenthly, If anybody has seen Inception please let me know so I can revise this and pass along the info to the readers.
Created: Jul 18, 2010Document Media