Thinking of you always makes me smile...

By grcwriter

People who make me happy to think of them...

I live a small and unimportant life, though I've had my brief and shining moments.

Those moments always involved reaching out to touch and and be touched by another person as a friend, a sister, daughter , mother, teacher, student.

I can exist on my own, without much human contact. Most of my childhood was spent that way; living in a home, but not really of member of the family. Loved abstractly, not actively.

In high school theater was my anchor stone, though I never acted. I was mostly make up, teaching people how to apply their own and doing specialty work like scars, breads, and the dancing ship tattoo on an actor's belly for South Pacific.

Sandy, Hadley Moo Cow, Brad, Linda, Burt, Mrs. Hoffman. I miss working with you, and thinking of you always makes me smile.

When I look back on the happiest times of my life they always revolve around groups. The first time I was deep down to my soul happy was at Job Corps. I had core group of friends and other people would satellite around us. Verna played guitar and we'd sing along, echoing up and down the dorm halls, it made other people as happy to hear as us to do it.

Jim, Leo, Verna, Dee, Laura, Buffy...I miss who we were then, so full of hope, and remembering you always makes me smile.

Later I fell in with what became to be called our 'pack'. Talented and unusually good looking group of ten or so folks (of which I was the plainest, but the loudest) who acted, danced, sang, drew, wrote and practiced with swords in my front yard.

We brain stormed at Denny's late at night and I wrote scripts. We held auditions and shot 1.5 short films. We camped and hiked and called each other for late night rants about things that didn't make sense.

Matthew, Alan, Virginia, Ivan, Ian, Seth, Brandi, Matt...I miss sitting with you at Denny's and shooting the shit and throwing sugar packets at each other. Remembering always makes me smile.

I've taught daycare off and one since my senior year in high school and love my students. What a special joy to have one come up to me years later and say "I remember you!"

One of my most recent students was Terrence. Two years ago when I started teaching his class he became upset that I was telling a story rather than reading one.

"You gotta have a book!" He told me.

"Not all stories come from books." I told him, having come from a strong oral history culture.

After a couple of weeks at story time when I offered to read a book or tell a story he'd yell out "Read the invisible book! Read the invisible book!"

I haven't worked there in almost a year now, and I still run into parents and students. Oh, how fast they grow! Remembering how little you were always makes me smile.

I was never officially a member of the SCA but went to so many events I think people forgot I wasn't. Depending on the group they can be warm and inviting, or cold and snobbish. I remember meeting Lord Bryon the first time, at one of the first events. I'd left the lights on on my car and he called out "My lady! They dragons eyes are still bright!"

I yelled back, "Thank you kind sire! I do it on purpose to attract handsome strangers!" He laughed so hard.

At another event we were having a 'widows wail' contest. I went out, beating my breasts and pulling my hair yelling "Why? Why? Why?" Two young girls I'd brought with me came out and pulled me away. A few contestants latter Lord Bryon came out, mimicking me, also yelling "Why? Why? Why?" before stopping and looking around. "Where are my teenage girls?" He asked. They ran out to comfort him and he picked one up under each arm and ran off with them.

He died recently, and even though we were never close, I cried to hear it. He was such a bright light, as were my other SCA friends.

Bryon, Anne, Sonja, Eric the Red, Prudence, Bjoinie. I miss you and the fun we had, and thinking of you makes me smile.

And now I'm at hitRECord and sometimes I get wistful that I can't show you the things I want to. Take you out to the hidden spots of Alaska, or even take pictures of them, because I don't live there anymore. I'd love to sing in the halls and hear it echo with Artgeek and Modrond, and sit at late night BS sessions with Zach and Harbringer, learn to sling that poi from Teafaire and teach Gwen how to belly dance if she doesn't already know. Giggle with Orieas and Linsey and Hana over how baggy Joe's pants are and learn French from Sandy and Ana...oh, there so many others!

Even though we've never actually met, I miss you, and thinking of you makes me smile.

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Thinking of you always makes me smile...

Created: Apr 07, 2009

Tags: memories, grcwriter, people, smile

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